And so I thought I am tough enough (again) and ready to go out there, make myself available, ready to mingle and meet new people but to my dismay I found out as always that I am not. Who would know right? Nobody exactly knows what the future holds, the turn of events will catch you surprise, one morning you will just wake up to find yourself already longing for a person you never thought you will fall for.
Again I find myself in a battle between pursuing what I am feeling or just set it aside and wait for the next one to come. No matter what choice I take, both would mean I have to gamble. I am not very young anymore to have the luxury of time to wait, but that doesn't mean I will just take whoever is available even if its not really worth it. Don't I still have the right to choose despite the given circumstances? I know in time this feeling will pass. I will get over him like I did with the rest of them but sometimes the cycle is already very exhausting, the same thing happens all the time. Maybe because I am doing something not right, but what is it exactly? Its not that I've fallen with the same people all the time. The men I fell in love with were completely different from each other, the only person who remains the same is me. So maybe its time for to change. Which part?
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